rosadrives:

when ur wife invites a bee over for dinner and he sits in ur spot

image

(via text-p)

batteur:

ah yes I’ve just thought the perfect sassy answer to that horrible thing someone said to me 4 years ago

(via crystallized-teardrops)

sleepysleepypretty:

having body hair annoys me but removing body hair also annoys me and also life, life annoys me

(Source: we-unhallowed, via text-p)

suspend:

i dont need a date i need cash

(via text-p)

jaclcfrost:

ignore unnecessary negativity. like “you’re too old to go in the inflatable bouncy castle”. don’t listen to things like that. don’t let them control your life. go into that inflatable castle. bounce around all you want. stare intently at the person who told you you couldn’t go in. while bouncing around. the whole time

(via text-p)

joshpeck:

joshpecksmom:

joshpeck:

fun fact about me: i was born on 4/20 at 4:20

prove it

image

bye hater

(via text--posts)

basedgosh:

if my kids end up being better looking than me theyre grounded

(Source: basedgosh, via crystallized-teardrops)

fuckingkisses:

wow I really want you on top of me

(via text--posts)